Monday, November 30, 2009

HEARTLIGHT

This one is for the man in your life, as well.



VERSE

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

~Proverbs 31:30

THOUGHT:

Want to find a really good woman? Look for one who honors and reveres the LORD with all of her heart, soul, mind, and strength. Appearance, physical strength, and even personality can change and degrade. A woman whose heart is anchored and enlivened by the presence of God in her life will be a life-long blessing and a woman worthy of our praise, and the praise of her God.

PRAYER:

Father, once again, I want to thank you this week for the important women in my life who helped shape my faith and who helped me find my way to you. Please help me to value godly women in ways that bless them, honor you, and build up your Church. In Jesus' name. Amen.
:

Macon Photographs

I wanted to be sure and post the photographs that went with the story that I posted this morning about our Thanksgiving trip to Byron and Macon, Georgia.


Obviously Georgia Music Hall of Fame



The Allman Brothers Band
This photograph was taken for the cover of their album "Brothers and Sisters", which was completed and released after Duane was killed, but before Berry's fatal accident.



This little hole in the wall was made infamous by the Allman Brothers Band who ate at H&H frequently. Note the familiar mushroom logo.



I managed to take this one photograph before one of the guys behind the counter politely called to me, "Ma'am, no photographs allowed."  I apologized but was grateful that I had this one.  I could feel the vibe of the Brothers all over the place.  We ordered fried chicken and three vegetable sides, plus cornbread.  It was some of the best soul food I've ever had.




This is just one of the stately mansions that are all over Macon.  I took this while we were traveling down the road.  There are many more that are more ornate and antebellum style than this one.



The sign in front of "The Big House", which is being restored as closely as possible to the time when the Brothers and their wives, children and girlfriends lived and wrote music there (1970-1973).



The grand opening of The Big House Museum is December 5, 2009.  There is still some work to do this week, mostly finishing the walkway and driveway.  Can you imagine renting this three-story tudor in 1970 for $235.00 per month?  It must have been a very special time.  Again, I could "feel" it when I was standing there on the large porch.



The resting places of Duane Allman (forefront) and Berry Oakley at Rosehill Cemetery  in Macon.  I shot all of the photographs between the iron fencing that stands around the graves.  It is secured against people climbing or breaking in.  When Duane and Berry were killed, fans that visited were actually chipping off pieces of their grave markers, so this fence was erected, new marble markers replaced the old, chipped ones and the security fence installed.  There is a group of people who pay for the perpetual care of the site.





The self-explanatory photos of the markers where lie Duane and Berry.  If you are a fan of the Brothers, you will recognize the line at the bottom of Berry's headstone, ". . . and the road goes on forever . . ." from the song "Midnight Rider".  I failed to mention that large iron gates have been installed at the drive-in area of The Big House.  These gates are ornately decorated with the band's name and a flowing flag of metal that also reads, "And The Road Goes On Forever". 



Remember that I wrote that there are marble angels at the foot of each grave, which contain the names of each ones only daughter.  It was a precious touch and made me kind of sad.

~*~

If you have followed me for any length of time, you surely know that music is my passion.  I have always loved music, the lyrics and all of the instruments.  I can feel music deep down in  my soul.  When I go to Mass and I sing the prayers and hymns, I feel the same passion inside as I do when I am listening to some of my favorite bands.  Music lifts my spirits when I am down.  Music gets me going when I have a lot of chores to do.  Music eases and relaxes me when it is turned down low and I am reading a book.  I correlate literally hundreds of songs with very specific times and events in my life.  This is just a little sidenote to let people know how much music means to me, and The Allman Brothers Band and their style, which is "southern rock" is something that never grows old; however, both the Brothers and I have grown older together.

Hoping you are having a blessed day,
Abbey

THIS DAY'S . . .




To be sensible of our corruption and abhor our own transgressions is the first symptom of spiritual health.

~J. C. Ryle

~*~



I Am Coming Quickly He who testifies to these things says, "Surely I am coming quickly." Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus! The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.

~Revelation 22:20-21, The New King James Version

In God We Trust

On this day, God wants you to know...


... that today you have a cause for celebration. Today, you should celebrate what an unbelievable life you have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make you stronger. Just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfected ...without trials. Take a time to acknowledge your life and to praise yourself.

~*~

Amazing! I was telling Lee on our way home from GA that I was THANKFUL and felt blessed that my biggest physical ailment is  Fibromyalgia. I can live with this, but it could have been a much worse cross to bear, so Thank You, God, for giving me this cross. I will bear it gladly in Your name. Amen!

HELL-OOOOOOOOOOO FRIENDS!

To all my blogger friends,

We returned home Saturday evening from our Thanksgiving trip to Georgia.  We stayed with Lee's mother, Juanita, in Byron.  She lives one street over from his brother and his wife, Corey and Pat, so visiting everyone was easy and wonderful.  They ordered a honeybaked ham and turkey and trimmings from Piccacily, so NOBODY HAD TO COOK! It was awesome and left more time for visiting.

Pat is suffering some physical ailments so I ask that all my friends please remember her in your prayers.

On Friday, Lee, Juanita and I traveled a few miles to Macon to do some tourist things.  We visited the Georgia Museum of Music where I found a lot of history and information about a lot of musical artists that I didn't realize hailed from the State of Georgia.  There was Ray Charles, for one; James Brown, The B-52's, and of course, The Allman Brothers Band, which was especially interesting.  My camera went dead on me right in the middle of the tour so I didn't get many photos of the museum, but we picked up batteries after leaving and I was locked and loaded for the rest of the day's sights.

We next traveled to Rosehill Cemetery, which is the location of the graves of Duane Allman and Berry Oakley.  If you didn't already know, Duane was one of the founders of the band, first becoming a gifted guitar player and session musician.  The band had barely gotten off the ground with a couple of great albums when Duane was tragically killed at the age of 24 when a flatbed truck pulled out in front of him while he was riding his Harley.  Berry never really got over Duane's death and almost a year to the day and within two blocks of Duane's accident, Berry was killed while riding his motorcycle.  The two are buried side by side.  This was the site that we were looking for, but it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Rosehill is an enormous and old cemetery dating back to the civil war.  There is one large hill that bears the bodies and markers of a lot of soldiers who lost their lives in Macon.  We left after giving up on finding Duane and Berry's resting places, and travels back into downtown to the "H & H Restaurant".  The diner's entrance is just a door beneath an old sign on the side of an old building.  The giveaway is the Allman Brothers famous insignia, a mushroom, on the sign.  This restaurant was made famous the The Allman Brothers Band because they have come there for decades to eat, relax and talk.  It is still in its same condition as it was over 35 years ago when The ABB began frequenting it, and we all enjoyed a meat & three that was spectacular.

Lee convinced me to go back to Rosehill Cemetery and try to locate the graves again.  I didn't mention before that this cemetery has all kinds of graves built on it's terraced slopes that are reinforced with bricks, some of which are barely still standing.  Someone at the cemetery told us that there was a map at the entrance (DUH!) which we didn't see when we entered the gates.  We went back to the entrance and found on the map where the graves lay and went on to find them.

Duane Allman and Berry Oakley are buried side-by-side in a sort of a gulley that we would have never found if we had not looked at the map.  A preservation committee has erected a 9-foot iron fence around the graves, along with steps to the site where visitors can come and pay their respects.

It felt strange to be there where the final resting places of these two musicians who were "of my time" lay.  The angels at the foot of each grave are marked with the names of each of the men's only daughter's.  It was a surreal moment there with them, the wind gently blowing the leaves about.  I felt as if I didn't want to leave. 

From Rosehill, we traveled to the site of "The Big House".  TBH is a huge three-story Victorian house that was rented by Berry Oakley's wife, Linda, while the band was on their first tour so they would have a place to live when they returned.  Today, it is being restored to the way that it was at the time they lived there, and is being filled with hundreds of pieces of memorabilia.  It will now be the ABB Museum and officially opens to the public on December 5th.  We were a week early and the lone man we saw would not allow us inside.  It is a very historical site and thankfully, now will be kept up by a foundation so that the thousands of archives, instruments, and furnishings will be kept alive for decades to come.  I hope we can go back sometime soon and tour the house.  If you are interested in reading about The Big House, you can go here.

I have a few pictures and the memory of being there and that will hold me until I can go back to Macon and spend more time.  We tried to cram too much into a single day and Macon is full of antebellum homes that are maintained as they were when they were new, and tours are available.

I didn't realize what a historic town Macon is and I look forward to the next visit.

Lastly, before we left to return home from Byron yesterday, I visited an antique mall there and picked up an old fashioned oak rocker, the kind from way back when that doesn't have any arms and sits fairly low to the floor.  It was in mint condition and very solid.  I'm going to clean up the wood and it'll look brand new.  I bought this with my new grandson, Cooper's arrival in January in mind.

With that, I am back in Home-Sweet-Home and back online spreading the Good News of the Lord.  I pray that everyone had a blessed and joyful Thanksgiving, and now it is on to the Christmas Season and celebration of the greatest man who ever lived, Jesus Christ.  I will be posting some photos that I captured in Macon soon.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Back In A Flash!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.  I'm going "underground" during the Holiday, but I will be back in a flash!

Blessings, Peace, and Love,
ABBEY

A Beautiful Wish

GOOD MORNING

I've never seen this one before...I really like it!




When I say good morning I mean to say:

G-od
O-ffers us His
O-utstanding
D-evotion to

M-ake us
O-bedient &
R-eady for a
N-ew day with Him.
I-nspire others please, and
N-ever forget
G-od loves you!

THOUGHTS TO PONDER

One of my good friends sent this to me this morning.  I love "ponder-isms" ..... enjoy!

Thoughts to ponder:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer's history if you die.

2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don'twant to have to restart my collection...again.

13.. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to the ten-page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate it when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.  What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with a Budweiser than Kay.

HEARTLIGHT



VERSE
:


The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

~Psalm 27:1

THOUGHT:

I love the coast of Maine. The craggy shorelines, the crashing surf, and the lighthouses perched at strategic and well-fortified points along the coastline. I cannot help but think of our heavenly Father when I watch the gloom gather as an impending storm noisily makes its way on shore. There in the storm -- with lightning ripping through the sky, winds howling, and the surf crashing -- stands the light that guides the way, strong against the elements and a beacon of direction and hope. Yes, the LORD, Yahweh the God of Israel, the Almighty Creator of all things, is my light and my salvation. My life, the eternal part of me, is entrusted to him. I choose not to fear. I place my trust in him.

PRAYER:

Father in heaven, I praise you for your faithfulness through the ages. I thank you for your steadfast love that has blessed each generation, giving hope in times of darkness, salvation in times of wantonness, and strength in times of weakness. Now I ask that you be with several people I love, who need your palpable presence as they fight their battles. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.


Thanksgiving Wishes Especially For YOU!









Another Story About Me

Lee leaves the house at 5:45 a.m., and I could have gone back to sleep with no problem, but this thought rushed through my brain, "get up, get outa bed, drag a comb across [your] head . . ." LOL. Last year and every year before that for about 36 years, this was a day that I went to work and hoped that the higher powers would let us go home early.  Early was usually around 2:00-3:00 p.m.  Then it was a mad rush to do the cooking and last minute cleaning for company tomorrow.  Today, I feel very blessed that I am not employed, which was a huge gift from above, but yet I am not cooking.  Imagine that!  No workie and no cookie!  We're spending Thanksgiving with Lee's Mom, brother and his wife.

Many years ago when my Grandma was alive, we would probably be going to her house.  Mama D LOVED to cook.  AND, she was always dressed to the nines - dress, high heels, hair, makeup - and her house was immaculate every day.  You could drop in any time of any day and you wouldn't find a dish in the sink or a spec of dust anywhere.  The bar in the kitchen and the table were jam-packed with wonderful homemade soul food, and the dining room table was full of cakes, pies and cookies, all homemade.  As hard as I try, the Thanksgiving, and mostly Christmas holidays seem to fly past me.  I want so much for everyone to just relax and visit with one another, but seems my mother and I are always in the kitchen.  It's a lot of work, and I love doing it and having everyone gather at my house, but at the end of the week when mom and dad leave to go home, I find myself feeling like I didn't really get to enjoy it like the rest of the family.  I'm don't mean to be a complainer - my station is to provide a place for fellowship and make the bread that is broken among loved ones.  I am blessed that I can do this here, in my home.  It truly is joyful.

I remember the first Christmas that my sister and I were with Mother and Daddy.  I just chuckled to myself because I stopped for a moment and realized that this is the FIRST Christmas that I can remember.  Recall I said yesterday that I couldn't remember anything prior to coming to live with my mother and daddy?  I have a couple of flickers, a place, a house, my sister eating the matches out of the ashtrays (everybody smoked) ... but that's all.

My sister and I got out of bed very early; it must have been early because I remember my Dad wasn't up and my mother way lying on the sofa watching me and my sister play with all that Santa had left for us.  My favorite gift was the little red, plastic nurse's kit.  I had a stethescope and a BP cuff and little cellophane packages of pills, which were actually candy.  I listened to my mothers heart and I gave her a pill.  She was so sleepy.

I didn't see my biological father from the first summer when we went to live with my mother and daddy ..... I was going to say "until", but you know what?  I never laid eyes on him again.

When I was deathly ill after my back surgery in 2005 and was recovering from a staph infection, I received a get well card from both him and my natural mother when I was in the hospital.  Very strange and shook me up a bit.  Her card was a surprise for the simple reason that she's never made any effort even though she lives in Blount County (North of where I live, but not a terribly long drive), but has never made any effort to call or otherwise.  But the card from Jim stunned me.  It was addressed to my birth name, Anthanea, which I don't use for obvious reasons and instead have gone my my nickname all of my life.

When I came home, I was still a very sick lady and I had a PICC line in my arm feeding me antibiotics 24/7 which I wore for 8 weeks.  Jim (birth father) called one day and I could not tell from the caller I.D. who was calling, so I answered.  He said, "This is Jimmy," and I immediately hung up.  Then he begins writing to my email, which he could only have obtained from his former wife and my former parent.  It became clear very soon that natural mother was working in concert with him.  She'd lost her husband the year before and now she was talking to Jim every day and giving him all this information.  I didn't know what they thought they were doing.  But it became apparent.

Jim began writing lots of emails to me and calling periodically.  I felt that I, as a Christian, should forgive and give him a chance.  I knew I would never recognize him as my Dad, but he was old and suffered from lung disease, so I gave him an inch and he quickly took a mile or more.

Before I knew it, he was calling all the time, writing several times a day, always professing "I love my girls", meaning my sister and I.  He pressured me more and more over several weeks to call him "Dad".  He said, "nobody will know", and I said, "I will know".  He began badmouthing my daddy and that crossed the line.

This was all before I allowed myself to open that locked door in my mind about the bathroom subject I wrote of.  But Jim was vulgar.  He said things to me that no man should say to a lady or much more, his own daughter  It was horrifyingly instrusive. 

He became irate with me and more and more pushy, which caused me to throw up a wall and avoid his calls.  He wrote the most awful things about my Dad, in particular, never saying anything about my Mother.  I finally responded to him something to the effect of "I have a Dad, he raised me and loved me and HE deserves my love, respect and adoration.  He's the finest man I've ever known."  I also told him that he was a selfish man for asking so much of my heart, because in my mind, he never did anything for anyone but himself.  I received a quick response: "I'm rejecting you!"

I couldn't help but laugh inside at that statement.  I wrote him one more time and told him, "you rejected me when I was three years old; this is nothing new." We never spoke or wrote to one another again.

Jim lived about two more years and died from his lung disease.  This was within the last 4 years or so. I'm not certain of the time because that is how little it affected me.  My sister made a trip to Missouri to see him before he died, but I never laid eyes on the man since he came for my sister's 5th birthday party in 1957.  Oddly, he told me all the time that he was putting some things in two little boxes, one for me and one for my sister, and that his wife would see that we received them when he died.  Nothing has ever come to me.

It is a very strange feeling, knowing that he was the other half of my creation, but he was virtually a stranger to me.  When I heard that he had died, I didn't feel anything.  Is that wrong?  He was so ugly and abusive, and I saw that in him during that brief time that we talked and wrote to one another,  My birth mother is another matter.  I've known her all my life.  She married another horrible and abusive man, and that is another story, but I have lived in talking (telephone) distance of her since 1980.

Now tell me.  If it was true that she was "tricked into signing papers" and we were "stolen from her", then why, when I moved here 29 years ago, has she not made any effort in my direction toward having a real and honest relationship?  I have gone to see her, called her, all the time burying my hurt and anger about my brother's death, but she makes NO effort.  I am done.  I have done enough that I know in my heart that it is not my fault or anyone else's but hers that things are as they are.  She had two more children; the girl is an alcoholic probably because the demons won't let her rest. This is because the ex-con that she married is the one who shot and killed my brother and she helped to try and cover it up.  The boy grew up to be like his father - abusive, dishonest, drug addict and has been in jail more times than I'll ever know.

I was raised in a different world altogether.  My birth mother took every opportunity to pull me aside and brainwash me that I was stolen from her.  She made me cry for her for years.  She messed with my mind and I can't forget that.  The efforts I've made were self-pressured.  I knew that if she died, and I had not made an effort in forging some kind of relationship, I'd have it on my conscience.  But after all that has NOT happened between us, and her conspiring with Jim and sharing my emails, etc., with him, she betrays me all over again.

My conscience with respect to the both of them is now clear.  It took me 52 years to get to this place and I would never have made it this far, nor killed each and every demon that haunted me, if not by the Grace of God.  His plan for my life has been clarified.  It took me a long time, but I am HOME.  I am thankful for that serious illness in 2005 because that period in my life is what brought me to the foot of the cross.  I regularly re-dedicate my life to Him.  He is first in my life and I've never regretted placing Him in his proper place, other than the fact that it took me so long.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I have so very much to be thankful for.  But I thank Him every day and tomorrow is no different other than the ritual of family and friends coming together in Thanksgiving.  I am taking my laptop, but I don't know that I'll be able to get a connection while I am away, so let me wish you ALL the most joyful of Thanksgivings with your loved ones, and when you give thanks, please remember to pray for the unborn who are killed every day, and for the many, many soldiers who are away from home serving their country, along with their families who are living without their presence, and not to forget the homeless,  Most of all, thank Jesus Christ for his ultimate sacrafice for you.

Love and PEACE,
Abbey

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

CHEESE!








A Story About Me

For someone who had such a rough start in life, I have been so blessed.  God was with me when I wasn't old enough to really know Him.  As a matter of fact, I cannot remember anything prior to the age of three, which was when my Mother and Dad adopted me and my sister.  I have a story about my life that I want to tell.

My natural mother had three children: my sister, me and my brother, Buddy.  My natural father was a rambler and a womanizer, so it is no wonder the marriage didn't last.  My natural mother was really no better, which is evidenced by the fact that my sister does not know who fathered her.  It was not the man who fathered me, which was my natural mother's husband at the time of my sister's birth, as well as my brother's.  There was much rumor among the family that lasted for over 50 years as to who might have fathered her, so my sister set out to find out if the rumored father was actually the man who fathered her.  Long story short, the result was "no".  I feel sad for my sister because she has no idea who fathered her.  That has to be an enormous burden, but she won't tell our natural mother what she discovered.  And, if you were to ask her, she would protest that it doesn't matter.  My sister has always internalized hurts as well as joys.  She's a mysterious kind of person that you never really feel like you know what she is thinking.  This is the sister that I grew up with and still, she baffles me, but I love her deeply.

A few years ago, I was visiting my friend "Fannie" at her place on the lake.  I had gone to spend the weekend with her, just us girls.  We had gone antique shopping that day and that evening, we sat down by the lake and drank wine, more wine that I needed.  I began telling her the story of my natural parents and then the adoption and the people who are my Mother and Dad today.

In the midst of telling my story, apparently I was overcome by something that put me in a state similar to being hypnotized.  She said later that I had a very faraway stare come over me just for a few seconds.  Fannie tried for several months to bring up that event and each time, she said later, it was as if I didn't hear her and I went on talking of things that had nothing to do with her questioning me,  A door kept slamming shut on her, apparently keeping something very painful behind it.

After a few months, Fannie managed to sit me down and slowly tell me of all the times she has broached the subject of my "hypnotic state" that night at the lake, and how I would change the subject, as if I didn't even hear her.  What she was trying to tell me was that I had said about the time before I was adopted (while in that faraway place), "all I remember about him is that he held my hand, took me into the bathroom and stood me on top of the toilet."

Needless to say, I was pretty emotional upon the opening of that door that I had shut so tightly 50 years ago.  A wash of memories came over me, memories of two failed marriages prior to my present one, all the times that I lost even a boyfriend, the rejection that I felt as I cried and cried.  I came to associate sex with love and a father figure.  I was always looking for my real father in my relationships, and I felt that sex ALWAYS meant love, which is obviously does not, and I always felt used and rejected when things didn't go any further than the physical.  I was finally able to discern WHY I had had such miserable luck in my love life, and I realized that it was not something that I could control, because I didn't know myself WHY I behaved as I did.  Something terrible happened to me as a young toddler and it had a lifelong impact on my life.  And, I don't wonder if the promiscuity was also hereditary.  After all, my Mother and Dad raised me to know right from wrong, and I totally went against that which was taught me in my raising.  My Mother and Daddy are good, upright, honest and God-fearing people.  So it is to them that I turned.

After I told them the story and my memory of being taken into the bathroom and stood on top of the toilet, at which time my little and immature mind goes blank as a protective mechanism; and that I felt I had been molested by my natural father.  My Dad said the best possible thing to me, and it brought me out of what could have been a lot of wallowing in the mire,  He said, "Honey, you need to think of your life as beginning when you came to live with us.  Whatever happened before that doesn't matter.  You were loved and still are, and what happened has no bearing on who you are now.  You are safe and you are loved."

It's ironic that I have been in and out of counseling for 20 years, and my most recent counselor, Mary Margaret, shooed me away from the thought of being hypnotized to see what happened in the years that I could not recall.  Did she detect something that I didn't notice in our counseling sessions?  Did I "blank out" and tell her something?  She told me that it had not significance to who I am now and that I was "safe", and should not "go there."

I don't believe in psychics, but I had a compelling desire to see one, just once, to see what she would tell me.  There were many things that she said, but what I want to focus on was when she asked me if I had any questions for her.  I asked her about the years before my age of 3 years, that I could not remember anything.  This is what she said:

"You don't need to go there.  You are safe now and you should just let that lie and not go there,  Trust me."
I did talk to my birth mother and told her because, not enough that she gave away two of her children, but I wanted her to know what had happened to me while I was in her care.  She didn't coddle me or express sentiments of how sorry she was.  All she cared about was figuring out if it was my birth father or her second husband.  Why was I not surprised?  And behind my back, she told my sister, "how do we know that it didn't happen after you were adopted?", trying to push the blame on my loving and caring Daddy.

Birth mother has never cared about anything but herself.  I keep my distance from her.  I tried to have some simblance of a relationship with her in the last few years, but it's hopeless.  She never did anything for me, and she still thought only of herself when I told her of what happened to me all those years ago,

I can now close the book because I KNOW the impact that this even had on my life.  Had I known years and years ago, I probably would not have suffered so much heartache in relationships with the opposite sex.  I always felt "rejection" which stemmed from being given away like used goods.  I am no longer a victim.  I am an evenly keeled individual and I handled my life, my relationships and my disappointments in an entirely different way.

With God at my center, I feel Him working in my every day of my life.  And especially when I pray, I can feel the burdens lift from my heart, and I know that it is Him taking them from me.  I am there and then the most thankful, for I know the joy of feeling His love directly from Him, His protection and His care.  I can go forward leaving my troubles and my joys with Him.  Because of Him and His Son, Jesus Christ, I am able to live a full life and it is very rare that I ever think about that time in the bathroom so many years ago.  He has taken it from me, as I asked Him to do.  The door is closed, but there is nothing there anyway,

As my counselor and the psychic said, I am safe now, I am loved and I don't need to go there ever again.

Truly, the saddest part of my life is that my brother was not "given away" with my sister and I, and my natural mother and her husband raised him.  I was denied a relationship with my brother, other than the infrequent visits back and forth during summers and holidays.  Tragically, my brother was shot and killed on March 10, 1985 at age 29.  I could not bring myself to go to his funeral because all of the people that I blamed for this event would be there and I was afraid I would lash out at them if I went.  I went to Buddy's grave much later, and when I did, I fell down and a river poured out of me.  I have prayed and prayed for the repose of his soul, and about three years ago, for the first time, I saw him in my dreams.  He came to me with a beautiful bright aura all around him.  I felt him take me by my shoulders when he kissed my cheek and said, "I love you, sister,"  I knew it was him because he always called me "Sister."  That was the one and only encounter and I felt he was finally free, that his soul was going to heaven and he felt happy at last.  I was overjoyed and when I awoke, I sat in my bed and cried.  (Crying is an emotion of joy as well as pain, and yes, it is hereditary in my family!)

Probably the thing I have not touched on is the fact that my birth mother and my adoptive father are sister and brother.  Therefore, my aunt and uncle adopted me and became my Mother and Dad.  So, everyone in the family knew of the adoption, and I saw my birth mother off and on all my life.  I look back now and I see a lot of things that I should have found curious, but did not because of the enormous love that I received from my Mother and Daddy.  They are Mother and Daddy to me and there is no other, not since my adoption, and there never will be.  God blessed me then, and I don't know why my brother wasn't meant to be with us, but I happily await being reunited with him when my time on earth is done.

Thanks be to God!

Heartlight



VERSE:

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

~
Psalm 37:23-24

THOUGHT:

I don't know about you, but I've stumbled my way through much of life. I've tripped at some of the most embarrassing moments. I've stumbled over my own feet, shoelaces, curbs, and just pure air -- both spiritually and physically. However, I am confident that in my spiritual life, even though I have stumbled from time to time, God has not let me completely fall. When I think I'm going to plunge into the depths of the abyss, the Father's love, care, concern, Scriptures, Holy Spirit, servants, and helpers have kept me from destruction. God's hand does uphold me. He is there in times of trial. He has been mighty to save. I do believe that he delights in my journey. How about you?

PRAYER:

O Father, thank you for your steadying influence in my life. Thank you for lifting me when I have been down, protecting me when I have been vulnerable, and comforting me when I have been broken. I praise you for your grace, your glory, and your nearness. Through Jesus, I offer you my praise and eternal appreciation. Amen.

Monday, November 23, 2009

YAY WILDCATS!

It seems we went straight from baseball and All Stars right into football for the boys.  Bay, age 9, loves to play but hates practice.  Riley, on the other hand, sailed through.  Nothing really phases Ril.  He's pretty even keeled most of the time.

Riley's team made it to the finals, and then were in the Championship game this past Saturday at Pelham Park, playing the Oak Mountain Eagles.

It was a 9 a.m. game and I don't think the boys were pumped enough, and I know the football moms and dads in the second set of bleachers weren't either as displayed by their LACK of cheering our Helena Wildcats on.  Three of us sat in the bleachers with the "cheerleader parents" and I believe we yelled more for our team than anyone,

It was a hard game, but we seemed to rally in the second half.  A turnover late in the fourth quarter did us in and the Eagles beat us with a score of 12-8,  I'm really proud of our boys and of all the dad's who take their time to coach.  For Riley's first time playing football, he did very well, even scoring one touchdown during regular season.

There will be more years and more sports.  Before we know it, we'll be signing up for baseball the end of February and start the whole circle all over again!  But I love it. Playing sports are good for children; it builds character, teamwork and sportsmanship.  I'm proud all of my grandchildren are active in sports and that their dad helps coach them.  It does make a difference.

Here is a photograph of the entire team.  My grandson, Riley, is on the back row, the one with the cute grin and the buzz cut about middle of the photo between the bald guy (our great friend Calvin) and his dad on Calvin's left.


In God We Trust

I had the unpleasant occasion to have someone on Facebook tell me that these "are not really from God; scripture is . . ."  Let me say this: I felt it was a "given" that this was not directly from God, but life lessons and things to think about that I'm sure God would approve of.  I like the application and so I publish it here, also.  We're all adults, and I had assume everyone knew that these were not direct quotes from God and that I knew that, myself.  Apparently not so.  If any one is offended, I apologize and suggest you not read them,  That's the best I can do.  And now to today's "What God Wants You To Know" and it is, ironically, very timely.

On this day, God wants you to know...

... that difficult people are very important, - they teach you tolerance and acceptance. If all was going your way all the time, you would become a spoiled child, wouldn't everyone? Difficult people are just one of the ways God teaches us to expand beyond our egos and accept other perspectives on life.

This Day's . . .

I absolutely LOVE This Day's Thought!  It really hits the nail on the head!  Blessing everyone!




I should count a life well spent, and the world well lost, if, after tasting all its experiences and facing all its problems, I had no more to show at its close, or to carry with me to another life, than the acquisition of a real, sure, humble, and grateful faith in the Eternal and Incarnate Son of God.

~P. T. Forsyth

~*~


Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

~John 14:6, The New International Version

~*~



A Christian lady was complaining to a friend about the hardness of life and the circumstances that buffeted her and in anger said: "Oh, I wish to God that I had never been made!" "My dear child," replied the friend," you are not yet made; you are only being made, and you are quarreling with God's processes."

~Unknown

Unwanted Visitors

I keep getting these strange comments (which I don't post, which will be obvious) from people who obviously do not speak English.  They keep trying to sell me drugs online.  I love the "Sorry to bother you" and "Hello to your family" parts.  And, they type the same thing twice in the comments.  I worry so much about hackers and someone doing something to my blog.  I'm so attached to it (should I be that attached?).  It's been my greatest achievement over the last few years because I have transformed through it.  When I look back, my writing/posting has changed so much.  I am now completely devoted to spreading God's word and inspiring others.  If a hacker messed up my blog, I think I'd just fall apart.

Y'all be careful out there.  For unknown reasons other than Satan loves to prey on those who love God the most, there are people who live to just wreak havoc on the internet.

God bless you and be safe on your blog!

Abbey

Sunday, November 22, 2009

HEARTLIGHT



VERSE:

Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

~2 Corinthians 7:1

THOUGHT:

God has blessed us with so many wonderful promises. He has secured them through the sending of his Son "to conquer death and bring life and immortality to light." He will "transform our lowly bodies to be like his glorious body." He will take us home to be with him eternally, but until that day, he will live inside us and reveal himself to us. He will make us more than conquerors and will not allow anything to separate us from his love. So what should our response be? Yes, surely we should offer him praise. But, we must not limit our praise to words. God wants our lives to be pure, staying away from what is evil, vile, putrid, and corrupt. He wants us to do this, not so we can claim some moral superiority, but so that we can show him our adoration and reverence. In our desire to offer God praise, let's not forget that one of the greatest ways to praise him is to seek him in purity and holiness!

PRAYER:

Forgive me, Heavenly Father, for my sins. Purify my heart and cast out any foothold the devil may have in me because of my sin.  Empower me to holiness and accept my life as an offering of praise and thanks to you. In the name of Jesus, I offer you my heart, my life, and my all. Amen.

Dogs and Cats

Friday, November 20, 2009

POSITIVE THOUGHTS




This Day's . . .




There is no miraculous cure for heartache. With all the wonder drugs there is no instant and wondrous cure for sorrow. We cannot use force of will to reach in and tear the sackcloth from our souls. But we can achieve healing through faith. We can share our troubles with our Heavenly Father.

~William Silverman

~*~


Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

~Romans 12:21, The King James Version

~*~



Three children were debating whether they dared take candy mints to church to eat during the service. “Mother wouldn’t let us,” Terry warned. “Then put them in my pocket,” the smallest volunteered. “She thinks I’m too little to know better.”

~Rex Campbell


HEARTLIGHT

I sure needed this today . . .



VERSE
:


In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.

~Psalm 94:19

THOUGHT:

God is our comforter, sustainer, and Lord. Only his gracious presence and tender blessings can bring consolation and comfort to our restless and discouraged souls. So let's turn to him, honestly confessing both our sins and our sorrows. Let's ask him to take our anxiety away and restore to us the passion, the joy, and the confidence of our salvation.

PRAYER:

Almighty Shepherd, in the noise and confusion of many thoughts burdened by many concerns, minister to me through your Holy Spirit. I need your comfort and peace. I ask for your presence and your grace. In Jesus' name I ask. Amen.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

POSITIVE THOUGHTS

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living .We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon , instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our window today.

All is Well (Wonderful)

I spent today with my best friend and baby girl, Christie.  We went to Market which was sponsored by the Jr. League.  I'm all for fundraising, but the prices were about 100% mark-up, and so I ended up buying some delicous pepper jellies and casserole mixes that I will use for Holiday Open House in December.  We went for Greek food at a place called Takikis and had a wonderful Greek salad with grilled chicken.  We traveled back over to our side of the County and did some clothes shopping, and by then, Christie had to get home to meet the kids' bus dropping them from school.  I went back out to Old Navy and Books-a-Million, where I spent probably an hour brousing but used restraint and made no purchase because I have two books in my pile to read.

Hubby is working some serious overtime so I'm having some quiet time just for me.  I'd rather he was here, but he catches the money whenever there's an offer.

I talked with my brother-in-law for an hour soon as I got home.  He and my sister want us to travel to the Dominican Republic in February to celebrate their 36th anniversary.  If we go, we need to get our passports in the works.  It sounds awesome and is all-inclusive, so maybe, God willing, we can go.

It's been a really busy day and I'm so tired.  I apologize that I haven't posted any scripture or positive reflections today, but I will be back in full swing tomorrow.

Hoping you all have felt the Love from above today and that our Loving Father is sending you great blessings, peace and joy this evening.

Love you all,
Abbey

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

In God We Trust

Made my day!

On this day, God wants you to know...

... that it's time you remembered who you really are. You are not your wallet, your job, your kids, your house. You are not your activities or your worries or the labels other people give you. Like an actor you play these roles, and like a good actor you sometimes forget who you really are. Time to wake up now, and remember that you are a being of immense power and breathtaking beauty created in the image of God.Read More

This Day's . . .


A visitor asked an old bedridden woman who said she was trying to be a Christian: “Are you trying to be Mrs. Whyte?”
“No, I am Mrs. Whyte.”
“How long have you been Mrs. Whyte?”
“Ever since this ring was put on my finger.”
“That is how it is with me. I do not try to be a Christian. I have been one ever since I put out my empty hand and received Christ as my Saviour.”

~The Prairie Overcomer

~*~



I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you.


~Psalm 32:8, The New International Version

~*~



Without Christ I was like a fish out of water. With Christ I am in the ocean of love.

~Sadhu Singh