Thursday, July 31, 2008

Come On In, Sit With Me A While

1. Hi, my name is ... Abbey

2. Never in my life have I ... understood meaness and cruelty, nor do I want to

3. The one person who can drive me nuts is ... oh geez, do I have to choose just one?

4. High school is ... something I took for granted

5. When I'm nervous ... I could win the Oscar for my performance at being calm and collected

6. The last time I cried was ... you'll never know because I'll never tell

7. If I were to get married right now my wedding party would be ... I don't think I can crank my brain sufficiently to think about that one

8. My hair is ... bugging the crapola outa me today ... as in a complete FUBAR?

9. When I was 5 .... we moved to Texas and began a great new life!

10. Last Christmas .... I saw Mommie kissing Santa Claus!

11. I should be ... a woman of leisure, and have enough money to do all of the things that I love to do

12. When I look down I see ... O come on! It's definitely NOT my toes!

13. The craziest recent event was .... the kid across the street, who flipped me the bird and called me a f'ing old hag five months ago, drove by and waved to me like nothing every happened!

14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be ... Phoebe, no question . . . blondes get away with everything by virtue of hair color!

15. By this time next year, I will ... be exactly, to the day, one year older

16. My current gripe is ...... I DON'T WANT TO WORK ANY MORE!

17. I have a hard time understanding .... the motivation behind an individual's unhappy existence - and don't gimme that "misery loves company" crap .... there's more to it, I know there is

18. There's this girl I know who ... is self-depracating to the max and I accuse her of doing it to garner compliments ....

19. You know I like you when .... I meet you; I'm pretty warm and accepting right off the bat (to my detriment sometimes)

20. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be ... the Dawg, of course, then the kids and Mom and Daddy, right down the list

21. Take my advice .... live and let live

22. My most wanted item is ... did you say "item"? Would you please define "item"? I want to be clear before I answer ....

23. If you visited the place I was born ... I wouldn't be able to tell you jack except the name of the hospital, which has since changed, and to visit Bob Gibson's and have his famous BBQ for lunch!

24. I plan to visit ... the GI lab promptly at 7:30 a.m. in the morning

25. If you spent the night at my house ... I'll keep you awake tonight because I'm going to be entertaining the Back Door Trots

26. I'd stop my wedding if ... I hadn't already given the car a test drive

27. The world could do without ...
road rage and smartasses

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than ... actually eat the darn thing

29. Most recent thing I've bought myself ... well, I went shopping for a birthday present for my sister, and I end up buying a couple of things for myself, too; a cute top and an eyeglasses case ..... but it was ON SALE!

30. Most recent thing someone else bought me ... Fannie Brown bought me a beautiful glass sculpture in Alaska

31. My favorite blonde is ... my baby girl

32. My favorite brunette is ... my baby boy

33. My evening plans include ... the most lovely time drinking a cocktail called "laxative", 8 ounces every 10-15 minutes until a full 2 litres is consumed, and numerous trips to the ladies room, in preparation for tomorrow's colonoscopy .... would you care to join me?

34. My middle name is ... Mud

35. This morning I ... got a lot off my chest talking with Mary

36. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are ... you're kiddin' me, right? Who on earth came up with that one? I can't even get cereal about it ...

37. Once, at a casino ... listen, nobody's does anything just "once" in a Casino, trust me

38. Last night I was ... anticipating tonight

39. There's this guy I know who ... made the ultimate sacrafice for me; his name is Jesus

40. I don't know ... when I'm going to find the time to fit it all in

41. A better name for me would be ... Juan Huong Lo

42. Tomorrow I am ... getting the garden hose stuck up my royal bee-hiney

43. My birthday is ... January 21st

44. What I really want for Valentine's Day is ... diamonds, of course!

I've Been Remiss in Writing

Lordy, where is the time going? Wasn't it just last week that we were all so excited because school was about to go on summer break, and all I thought about was the fact that the traffic would be a breeze and I wouldn't have to get up as early. Believe me, school in session affects everybody, not just those with children.

With three grandchildren playing ball in the spring, and then All Stars, and on to the championship title for my granddaughter, well, that was half of the summer (for school-age children) already. We've had dog-days prematurely and they've lasted all of June and July. What's in store for August weather, I wonder? My little ones will be off to the beach soon for their last "Hurrah" before school begins. Each has been doing chores and Mommie and Daddy have rewarded them, not overly, with money to save for their trip. Each one has their own special dream of what they will spend "their money" buying. Hannah wants her own digital camera, and the one she is eyeing is about $100. She has $54 to date. She's the best of the three with her willpower to save her money. That's a great quality to learn and practice at a young age. I can see that she will be financially wise in her adult life, so no worries there.

The great-grandparents and Dawg and I are giving each of them money for spending on the trip as well. Hannah has an email address now, with a limited number of people to whom she may write, so she writes me quite a lot. The other day, she wrote and said how excited she was about spending the night with us before they leave for the beach. I replied how much I was going to miss them while they were gone. She replied, "Don't worry. You can call us every day. Mom and Dad will both have their cell phones." Only in the year 2008!


We spent last weekend at the lake, and although it rained on Saturday, Sunday was complete bliss. Perhaps there are a lot of people taking their "last hurrah" vacations, as the lake was practically void of boats and skiers. The water was as smooth as glass, especially in the cove where we tie up and swim/float. It was the most peaceful day that I can recall in a very long time. In fact, Dawg and I floated together for a while, and had some really close conversation, something you don't do when you're around television noise or outside and there is the noise of cars, lawn mowers, and such. It was very cathartic and I think we both felt we had a solid reconnecting of sorts.

It wasn't the wasp stinging me this time, it was Dawg and his poison oak. You see, he was called out on a cut cable around 9:00 p.m. on Wednesday evening, last. They worked all night trying to locate the cut, and he continued through Thursday working his regular shift. By Thursday night, he was brain dead, there in body, but not in mind or spirit. Come Friday and we arrive at the lake and he announces to me and Fannie Brown that he believes he has a case of the poison oak. Good grief!! There's just a few places that look a might red, obviously it hasn't reared it's most ugly head yet. We travel to Gadsden for dinner and Dawg eyes a Walgreen's, but passes it by. He says he'll catch it on the way back, but he doesn't. He suffered all weekend, and he doesn't much like coddling, but I do my best to express my concern and care for his infection. I went online and read many home remedies and picked one out that sounded good: red wine vinegar and then, PreparationH. Now if that doesn't kill it, nothing will, right?

Dawg was most indulgent, to my utter astonishment, but I didn't let on. He patiently allowed his nurse-wife to dab all the spots with the red wine vinegar, supposedly drying the spots. Then, I liberally applied the PrepH. Well, we figured if nothing else, his crow's feet would disappear, and they did look a might better come dinner time. Every once in a while, I'd ask him oh so lovingly, "how are you feeling? Is it working?" He wouldn't look me in the eye, which was the first bad sign. He mumbled and then said he was allright, that he'd gotten his mind off the awful itching until I raised the subject yet again! Oops!!

I'm feeling like somebody has a voo-doo doll for each of us and they don't want us at the lake, so when we go, something like this or the stings befalls us. I swore if I got stung, I'd never go back. But everybody knows that's not ever going to happen. When I am on or near the water, preferrably ON, I am in my element. I find the greatest peace in the water. Well, after all, I am Aquarius, the water sign. It fits.


Dawg's feeling better, and me, well, I'm doing just great except I have been instructed to have that colonoscopy that is required by most doctors when you reach the age of 50 years, and I'm a tad late. So think about me tomorrow. The only good thing that I can think of is the good drugs that I'll get ... and the wonderful, lazy sleep. The preparation begins in ... counting down now ... exactly 29 minutes, at Noon today. UGH! In actuality, I want to get this out of the way. I am always apprehensive about diagnostic tests, but then when they are over and the doctor says, "everything looks great", I am always happy that I did it.

Dawg and I promised one another when we married that we'd take good care of our health. After all, we didn't end up together until middle age, so we don't have as much time as many have had together and we want to stay around and be together for a very long time. That's true love, isn't it?

THIS DAY'S VERSE

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us- whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of him.

~ 1 John 5:13-15, The New International Version

READING REQUIRED

Thanks to "News Shoppe" for this post. Read and form your own opinion, but I believe that it speaks volumes of quite reasonable observations. If you agree, please feel free to pass it on to your other patriot friends.

Abbey



If you read anything today, please read this. The impact this writing may have on you just might determine the future of America , as we see it today. Two minutes, that's all it will take, two minutes. This is very thought provoking ... it takes 2 minutes to read .... especially the last paragraph. Read it with an open mind. When electing the next President, 'the only decision you have to make is who you want sitting in that seat in the White House when - not if - WHEN we get hit again and millions of American lives are put at risk!'

This is from: 'You ain't gonna like losing.' Author unknown.

President Bush did make a bad mistake in the war on terrorism. But the mistake was not his decision to go to war in Iraq . Bush's mistake came in his belief that this country is the same one his father fought for in WWII. It is not. Back then, they had just come out of a vicious depression. The country was steeled by the hardship of that depression, but they still believed fervently in this country. They knew that the people had elected their leaders, so it was the people's duty to back those leaders. Therefore, when the war broke out the people came together, rallied behind, and stuck with their leaders, whether they had voted for them or not or whether the war was going badly or not. And war was just as distasteful and the anguish just as great then as it is today.

Often there were more casualties in one day in WWII than we have had in the entire Iraq war. But that did not matter. The people stuck with the President because it was their patriotic duty. Americans put aside their differences in WWII and worked together to win that war.

Everyone from every strata of society, from young to old pitched in. Small children pulled little wagons around to gather scrap metal for the war effort. Grade school students saved their pennies to buy stamps for war bonds to help the effort. Men who were too old or medically 4F lied about their age or condition trying their best to join the military. Women doubled their work to keep things going at home. Harsh rationing of everything from gasoline to soap, to butter was imposed, yet there was very little complaining.

You never heard prominent people on the radio belittling the President. Interestingly enough in those days there were no fat cat actors and entertainers who ran off to visit and fawn over dictators of hostile countries and complain to them about our President. Instead, they made upbeat films and entertained our troops to help the troops' morale. And a bunch even enlisted.

And imagine this: Teachers in schools actually started the day off with a Pledge of Allegiance, and with prayers for our country and our troops! Back then, no newspaper would have dared point out certain weak spots in our cities where bombs could be set off to cause the maximum damage. No newspaper would have dared complain about what we were doing to catch spies. A newspaper would have been laughed out of existence if it had complained that German or Japanese soldiers were being 'tortured' by being forced to wear women's underwear, or subjected to interrogation by a woman, or being scared by a dog or did not have air conditioning.

There were a lot of things different back then. We were not subjected to a constant bombardment of porno-graphy, perversion and promiscuity in movies or on radio. We did not have legions of crack heads, dope pushers and armed gangs roaming our streets.

No, President Bush did not make a mistake in his handling of terrorism. He made the mistake of believing that we still had the courage and fortitude of our fathers. He believed that this was still the country that our fathers fought so dearly to preserve. It is not the same country. It is now a cross between Sodom and Gomorra and the land of Oz. We did unite for a short while after 9/11, but our attitude changed when we found out that defending our country would require some sacrifices.

We are in great danger. The terrorists are fanatic Muslims. They believe that it is okay, even their duty, to kill anyone who will not convert to Islam. It has been estimated that about one third or over three hundred million Muslims are sympathetic to the terrorists cause... Hitler and Tojo combined did not have nearly that many potential recruits. So... We either win it - or lose it - and you ain't gonna like losing.

America is not at war. The military is at war. America is at the mall, or watching the movie stars.(Remember Obama said in his book 'Audacity of Hope', 'I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction'.....

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

THIS DAY'S . . .

The most stupendous blunder a man ever made was to think that anything could be made out of sinning.

~ Frederick Wood


The wise man looks ahead. The fool attempts to fool himself and won’t face facts.

~ Proverbs 14:8, The Living Bible


It usually rains where it's already wet.

~ German proverb

Monday, July 28, 2008

HEARLIGHT


VERSE: And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine: For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.

~ Matthew 7:28-29


THOUGHT: Unlike the teachers of his day, Jesus didn't have to shore up his teaching with obscure quotes from past teachers. Jesus, theWord of God, spoke the very words of God. He did and said what the Father willed. His life and his words had ring of authenticity and an awareness of power that extend through the ages and beckon us tohis truth. This Jesus, our Teacher and Lord, is different. His words are powerful. His teachings are true. So his will must be our passion!

PRAYER: Holy God, thank you for speaking through your prophets and through your Scriptures. But, Father, I praise you for speaking your greatest message in Jesus. As I see the character of his life, I am drawn to you. As I hear the authenticity in his words, I seek to humbly obey. Thank you for sending Jesus to be my teacher, my guide, my Lord, and my Savior. It is in his name, Jesus, that Ipray. Amen.

Abbey's Listening to . . .


TODAY'S . . .

The finest flowers are often found growing in the soil of sorrow.

~ G. B. Duncan


Love worketh no ill to his neighbour; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

~ Romans 13:10, The King James Version

Some like to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I'd rather run a rescue shop within a yard of hell.

~ William Booth


Friday, July 25, 2008

Kosovo Music

Crank up the volume and enjoy!

video

Thursday, July 24, 2008

CHILDREN EXPLAIN ANGELS


I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
--Gregory, 5

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Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it.
--Olive, 9

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It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
--Matthew, 9

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Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
--Mitchell, 7

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My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.
--Henry, 8

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Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!
--Jack, 6

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Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead. --Daniel, 9

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When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado. --Reagan, 10

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Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter. --Sara, 6

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Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter. --Jared, 8

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All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it.
--Antonio, 9

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My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. --Katelynn, 9

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Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it. --Vicki, 8

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What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them.
--Sarah,7

'Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God'

HEARTLIGHT


VERSE: O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

~ Romans 7:24-25


THOUGHT: Our bodies are mortal and flawed. They are tainted with our weakness and sin. But, by the grace of God given us in Jesus Christ, our future does not rest in the dust with our bodies, but in the power of our perfecting Lord.

PRAYER: Almighty God, thank you for giving me life beyond the death of my mortal flesh. Thank you for giving me holiness beyond my sin-stained flesh. Thank you for delivering me from death and bringing me into your glory. Now, dear Father, may my words, deeds,and thoughts reflect your grace and power in all I do today and each day that follows. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

WISDOM: Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.

~ Ephesians 4:26-27, King James Version


Practicing the presence of God is a skill, a habit you can develop. Just as musicians practice scales every day in order to play beautiful music with ease, you must force yourself to think about God at different times in your day. You must train your mind to remember God.

~ Rick Warren


But we will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word.

~ Acts 6:4, The King James Version


A good rest is half the work.

~ Yugoslav proverb


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Home Movies - Chapter Four

The next few years flew by. After the first year of living with Uncle Bo and Aunt Billie, the girls were instructed to call their aunt and uncle “Mama” and “Daddy”. Starr didn’t think much about it, and just like the cursing, it took time for her to adjust to this new rule that had been thrown into the mix. She was constantly being corrected, where Suzanna seemed to catch on right fast. Starr and Suzanna had not seen Helena but once since the birthday, that being on Christmas, and being as young as they were, adapted to life with Uncle Bo and Aunt Billie. With small children, it is more “out of sight, then out of mind.”

In actuality, Bo had confronted his sister, Helena, after the girls had been in his and Billie’s care for exactly one year. He told her, “you have to make up your mind whether or not you want these girls. We have grown attached to them and we love them like they were our own. We cannot hang in limbo forever, never knowing if you’re going to come and snatch them away from us.” At this time, Helena and Arlen were now expecting their first child, and Helena was having a hard pregnancy. Chuck was also consulted about the fate of the Starr and Suzanna. It was decided that it would be best if they were to stay with Bo and Billie; therefore, they applied for adoption of the two girls. At the time, Bo pleaded with Helena to please allow the girls’ baby brother, Charles, to come with the girls. He wanted desperately to keep them together and not divide the blood siblings. Her answer was an emphatic, “Oh no, Arlen would never forgive me. Charles is a boy!” This completely infuriated Bo, as his sister’s behavior and poor decisions had done for many years, and this was just another nail in the coffin that held the remnants of their relationship.

Social Services made the requisite visits over the ensuing months, and in the end, Charles and Helena, the girls’ grandmother, and Bo gathered before a Judge at the County Courthouse to finalize the adoption of Starr and Suzanna by Bo and Billie. The judge looked Helena and Chuck each squarely in the eye and he asked them, “are you certain that you understand the ramifications of the proceedings? Do you understand that once you sign those papers, those girls will no longer or ever again belong to you. You will be give up all parental rights to each of them.” Both affirmed that they understood, and with that, the judge granted the adoption, which was followed by the formality of signing the legal documents by all parties. Once this was finished, the Office of Vital Statistics issued new birth certificates for each of Starr and Suzanna and their adoption file was sealed.

Many years later, as an adult, Starr would get up the nerve to ask Mama what really happened “back then”. She would learn the truth, and it was a far cry from what Helena had consistently drilled into her over the years. Mama told her, “I loved you so much, and no matter how badly I wanted you, I could not go to that courthouse and watch two people just sign away their own children.” Starr knew then that she was telling the truth.

Aunt Billie, now Mama, bought the girls beautiful, frilly Easter Dresses, matching lace Easter bonnets, white gloves, Mary Janes and socks, and little purses that looked like lace umbrellas. Mama loved dressing up the girls. Their clothes were always identical in pattern, but different in color. Starr’s Sunday dress was usually yellow and Suzanne’s was usually pastel blue. In the winter, Mama bought them matching poodle skirts, Suzanna’s being dark blue with a white poodle and Starr’s being red. They each wore a white blouse with a button-up sweater and gloves on their tiny hands to keep them warm.

In 1959, Daddy received orders to transfer Amarillo Air Force Base in Texas. Daddy and Mama had been hoping for months for orders that would send them as far away from Selma as possible, to leave the past behind and have a fair chance at raising the girls without all of the interference of the family and their history.

Once the furniture and household items were packed, the family traveled cross-country via Route 66. There was no air conditioning in the car and it was June, so the weather was quite warm. The car was loaded to the maximum, but it didn’t phase the excitement of the adventure of a new home, far away from Alabama. Mama had packed bologna sandwiches, snacks, chips and drinks for the trip. They would stop along the way and have their lunch at the roadside at the rest stops where picnic tables were strategically placed under trees of shade where travelers could rest and take nourishment. To the girls, this was great fun. There was nothing but fun and laughter all the way across the country. Daddy liked to stop at all the “tourist traps” so the girls could have some fun and they could take pictures, pictures that would document their new life together as a family. They visited all the souvenir shops and Mama and Daddy would indulge the girls, buying them small, inexpensive trinkets as a remembrance of the place and time.

When they arrived at their destination, their housing arrangements had not been made, and thus they were placed in a barracks type building. It was a long, dreary building, painted a dark green, and was nothing more than a row of apartments, each with two bedrooms, a stove, old refrigerator and dinette in the kitchen, a sofa and chair in the living room, and a bed and dresser in each bedroom. The place smelled musty and dank, and Starr was immediately frightened by two dark circles that were visible at the base of the wall beneath the sofa. Although it was only chips in the white paint on the baseboard, Starr just knew it was a monster looking at her. It looked just like two evil eyes, staring at her whenever she looked at it. She hated this place and she couldn’t sleep or relax for the two dark eyes looking at her. She would try to walk around so they could not see her when she went through the room, or sit where they could not see her if she had to be in that room. It was in this place that, for the first time in her life, Starr began having nightmares and visions of monsters in her room that sent her into hysterical screaming and crying in the night.

It was only two weeks before the duplex that had been intended for them was ready and they were moved again, this time, with their own furniture that had arrived from Alabama. Starr and Suzanna shared a bedroom and slept in new bunk beds. The duplex was small but nice. They had two bedrooms, a full bath, living room and kitchen. Mama decorated it nicely with her starched and ironed curtains. She made delicious dinners on Saturday and Sunday, and they found a church where they could attend regularly. Life was finally settling down with no interference from the past or people in Alabama.

They did everything as a family. Bo took the girls to Wonderland Park where they rode the kiddie rides, ate cotton candy, played games and had the grandest time of their lives. Mama made picnics of fried chicken, potato salad and chips on Sundays when it was warm, and they would go out to the large park north of town where they were joined by several of their friends from the base and their families for picnics. The kids romped and roared on the play gyms and fed the ducks in the large pond. There was even a nice zoo and they loved going to see the animals, but most of all, riding the miniature train. Starr and Suzanna would sit up straight and tall in their seats, imagining that they were on a real train traveling among wild animals in some place like Africa.

On Saturday nights, there was the ritual of baths, washing hair, and then Mama meticulously making pin curls with her fingers and securing them with either bobbie pins or clippies, as they were called then. Come Sunday morning, they were properly coiffed and beautiful as princesses in their frilly frocks, ready to go to Sunday School.

After a year or so, Bo and Billie found a small house for rent and moved there with the girls in 1961. Billie had transferred with her civil service job with the government and Bo had decided to accept a medical discharge from the Air Force. He didn’t know what he was going to do, but he had the fortitude to be a success at whatever he attempted. Bo was a proud and hardworking man. He worked in a Safeway grocery store for a while, sacking groceries and taking them to the cars and unloading them. One day, he went to a used car lot on 6th Street and began talking with a man that he knew. The man told him, “Bo, I want you to come to work for me.” Bo told him that he’d never sold a thing in his life. But the man was insistent. So Bo told him, “I tell you what, I’ll spend one day here, and if I don’t sell a car, I won’t be back.” The man agreed this was a good enough idea and that was that.

Bo sold his first used car that day, and he would spend the next 45-plus years in the car business, moving to new cars, eventually focusing on new Cadillac primarily. He became the top-selling Cadillac salesman in the Region and held the title for the remainder of his career there. Most of this was by virtue of his reputation, which was excellent and not even kindred to that of what people usually think of car salesmen. He had repeat customers, rich oil families, who came in year after year and traded up. It came to a point where Bo didn’t have to work at making the money, it came to him. It wasn’t long before Bo and Billie were picking out a lot on a nicer side of town where they would build and own their first home. To Starr and Suzanna, the house felt like a mansion. There were three bedrooms, two full bathrooms, a den and a formal living room, a formal dining room, along with the kitchen and breakfast area. It was beautiful, full brick, brand spanking new and this little family was moving on up the ladder of success. The memories of the past and life before they came to live with Mama and Daddy were practically nil for Starr and Suzanna now. They felt loved and cared for as never before. Their lives had a routine, rules and expectations. And not a day would go by that they were not hugged and told that they were loved, not to mention, having a Mama and a Daddy to whom they would go just before bedtime each night, giving each a kiss and saying back to them, “I love you.”

Hair Wax

This is a woman's thing, but men, read if you want a good laugh, too.

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on..........

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax, yeah...right!') I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...

Remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. SEALED SHUT!!!! MY BUTT IS SEALED SHUT! SEALED SHUT!!!! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!!******

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment, I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter...... 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!' There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?' She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and.... OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. Its sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!! It works!!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off.

Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Abbey's Listening to . . .


Hops

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women .

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :

1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional. 6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

Monday, July 21, 2008

DRINK, STEAL, SWEAR & LIE

Thank you, my dear friend, for sending this to me. Wonderful creed . . . .

I met this guy while I was in Albuquerque and he has a motto he lives by everyday. He said listen carefully and live by these 4 rules: Drink, Steal, Swear, & Lie.

I was shaking my head 'no', but he then told me to listen while he explained his four rules. So here they are:

1. "Drink" from the "everlasting cup" every day.

2. "Steal" a moment to help someone that is in worse shape than you are.

3. "Swear" that you will be a better person today than yesterday.

4. And last, but not least, when you "lie" down at night thank God you live in America and have freedom.

I am not as good as I should be, I am not as good as I could be. But THANK GOD I am better than I used to be!

Friday, July 18, 2008

THIS DAY'S . . .


Never undertake more Christian service than you can cover by believing prayer.

~ Alan Redpath



He whose walk is upright fears the Lord, but he whose ways are devious despises him.

~ Proverbs 14:2, The New International Version


A year from now you may wish you had started today.

~ Karen Lamb

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Headlines From the Year 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise are the keys to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

I Love This Country! It's The Government That Scares Me!


Abbey's Listening to . . .

My love affair with Steely Dan began well over thirty years ago. Pretzel Logic was one of my first experiences with SD, and there have been hundreds more ever since. I've placed a YouTube video section at the bottom of my blog featuring Steely Dan. I thought I might do this for a while and see how everyone likes it. If you're sitting at your desk working, you can always click on an album and listen while you work (as opposed to whistling while you work).

I've been mesmerized by the fact that two individuals, Walter Becker and Donald Fagen, together, can create so much sound and such great lyrics. They released seven albums during their peak in the 70's, and were labeled a jazz fusion/rock band. From Wikepedia: "Their music is characterized by complex jazz-influenced structures and harmonies, literate and sometimes obscure or ambiguous lyrics filled with dark sarcasm, and their adroit musicianship and studio perfectionism." That is about as close as you can come to aptly describing this creative force.

From Pretzel Logic, I would suggest "Barrytown" which is an all-time favorite of mine. Although there were two preceding albums, Can't Buy a Thrill and Countdown to Ecstasy, this was my "first time" with SD, so it's sentimental that I chose it today. They are my long-time love and I feel very at home with them. I hope you enjoy listening, and don't forget the video bar at the bottom of the blog. Happy trails . . . .


Racism? Or just another blonde moment??

Everyone is in a hurry to scream 'racism' these days! And that includes blondes, as shown in this story.

'In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?' asked the attractive blonde.

The clerk looks at her and says, 'Are you Polish?'

The lady (clearly offended) says, 'Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I were Italian? Or if I had asked for feta cheese, would you ask me if I were Greek ? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I were German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I were Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I were Mexican? Would you? Would you?'

The clerk says, 'Well, no!'

'If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I were Irish?'

'Well, I probably wouldn't!'

With deep self-righteous indignation, the blonde lady says, 'Well then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?'

The clerk replies, 'Because you're at Home Depot.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

HEARTLIGHT

Oh my, this is a good one. Our minds take over and before we know it, they are traveling down a path that is not holy and could possibly be harmful to ourselves or others. This is one that I need to give a lot of prayerful thought and I would ask those who read it to do the same. God bless.



VERSE: "There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him candefile him: but the things which come out of him, those are theythat defile the man." ~ Mark 7:15

THOUGHT: We get so hung up on externals, appearances, and facades. Jesus cuts to the core of God's concern -- our spiritual heart condition. He wants us to not only focus on what we put in our body, but what we allow to grow in our hearts and simmer in our heads. The inner world is what needs our most earnest attention. So let's be honest and ask if we are spending as much time focusing on our inner world as we are focusing on our external appearance!

PRAYER: O God, who searches minds and hearts, may the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you. I offer you my inner world to cleanse and redecorate by the sanctifying work of your Holy Spirit. Please guard my heart from evil ambitions and my mind from impure thoughts. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

THIS DAY'S . . .

He who loves the coming of the Lord is not he who affirms it is far off, nor is it he who says it is near. It is he who, whether it be far or near, awaits it with sincere faith, steadfast hope and fervent love.

~Augustine

Thus you will walk in the ways of good men and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will live in the land, and the blameless will remain in it; but the wicked will be cut off from the land, and the unfaithful will be torn from it.

~ Proverbs 2:20-22, The New International Version


A self-made man has no one to blame but himself.

~ Unknown


Monday, July 14, 2008

HEARTLIGHT

VERSE:

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humblethemselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wickedways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, andwill heal their land."

~ 2 Chronicles 7:14


THOUGHT:

While this is a passage often emphasized when talking about the problems with nations and governments, let's remember that the truest application of this must find its home in us and in our churches. We can begin revival in our land if we will commit to daily prayer, weekly fasting, and hearts yearning for God to enter our world and transform it.

PRAYER:

O God, Father of all nations and peoples, please enter into our world with clear signs of your power and grace. Call the lost to you through us. Use us to be the first fruits of renewal and restoration. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Stroll Down Memory Lane

video

Friday, July 11, 2008

THIS DAY'S . . .

If God said that Jonah was swallowed by a whale, then the whale swallowed Jonah, and we do not need a scientist to measure the gullet of a whale.

~ A. W. Tozer

The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life.

~ Proverbs 22:4, The Revised Standard Version


I believe Satan to exist for two reasons: first, the Bible says so; and second, I’ve done business with him.

~ D. L. Moody

[Note from Abbey: D.L. Moody is growing on me!]

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Hearlight Wisdom

I love this verse . . .


But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and whenthou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret;and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

~ Matthew 6:6, King James Version

Home Movies - Chapter Three

Two weeks after Starr’s had been deposited her with her aunt and uncle in Selma, her grandmother arrived after church on Sunday afternoon with her sister, Suzanna, in tow. Grandmother told Uncle Bo and Aunt Billie that she was on her way to Montgomery, where she would meet Chuck. Chuck was coming from Mobile where he had been stationed for some months now. In the interim, he and Helena had divorced and Helena had met and fallen fast for yet another “bad boy”. His name was Arlen and he was tall, already balding, and a little rough around the edges. He worked in a steel mill and had met and swept Helena off her feet immediately when they met one night when both were out drinking at the local watering hole. For still unknown reasons, Grandmother had taken Suzanna and as she told Bo and Billie, “I’m on my way to meet Chuck in Montgomery. He’s going to take Suzanna for a while.”

This infuriated Bo to no end, and he jumped back at his mother instantly saying, “oh no you’re not. You’re not going to separate these two girls. Suzanna is going to stay right here with us and her sister.” Grandmother couldn’t argue with her baby boy, or didn’t want to. It almost seemed too easy how it all worked out, but then again, perhaps fate had taken hold of her plans and this was as it was meant to be. In any event, Suzanna remained there with Starr, Uncle Bo and Aunt Billie.

There were rumblings within the family about this curious situation and the sudden move of the girls with little or no explanation, but the two little girls who had been once again uprooted had not a single thought of “why are we here” or “where is mommie or daddy”. They fell into their routine with Uncle Bo and Aunt Billie with ease. Bo and Billie were extremely caring and loving, especially Billie. Billie's physician had already tolder her that she may not be able to ever carry a child to term, so having these two little girls whom she’d known since birth anyway was a God-given gift. She loved them as much as any mother could love her own. She bought them matching outfits in coordinated colors, shoes and socks, new underwear and play clothing. Most of the clothing that had been delivered with the girls was tattered and/or stained, and Billie felt so bad for the girls living in such a state. So, she sacrificed and cut every corner possible, even though money was very tight, and she bought new clothes for the girls, adding a little here and there until they had everything they needed.

Along with the new responsibility for two small children of working parents came the need for proper care when Bo and Billie were working. Bo taught school on base and Billie worked as a civil servant for the Government in an accounting job, also on the base. Most of the families had negro maids, so after asking around a bit, Billie interviewed and hired a maid to keep house and care for the two girls while she worked. Her name was Mary. Mary was young and petite, almost frail-looking, but what a workhorse. She would take down every curtain in the duplex, wash them, starch and iron them, and have them rehung by the time Bo and Billie returned home from work in the afternoon. She also prepared lunch for Bo and Billie, and they came home every day to eat together as a family. Mary also prepared the evening meal before she left to catch the bus home. Bo and Billie paid her more than the other maids on base received to help with her bus fare, and for the fact that she already had four children, all by different fathers. It was a secret that had to be kept, for if the others found out, there would be a huge fuss with their own employers and then everyone would be upset with Bo and Billie for paying Mary more and starting the mutiny.

But, for the first time in their lives, Starr and Suzanna had a structured routine, and people who cared enough for them to set down rules for their behavior. Uncle Bo did not spare the rod when it came to disobedience, either. To hear Aunt Billie tell it, Starr, especially, arrived with a vocabulary that would set a sailor’s hair on end. It was fairly common in those first few weeks for Starr’s mouth to be washed with a bar of soap. Aunt Billie and Uncle Bo would not tolerate a potty mouth, nor would they expect less than yes ma’am and no ma’am, yes sir and no sir from the girls. Changing the way of life that Starr and Suzanna had known since birth was no easy feat. There were hard feelings and lots of tears, along with whippings on the hind end which were administered by Uncle Bo, and overseen by Aunt Billie.

Starr had an extremely difficult time with her tongue. She was but three and one-half years old, but quite precocious, and the words flowed out of her mouth as naturally as the sun rises and sets. She might fall down, and cry “shit!” Or, someone would make her mad at play and she would slip and say “dammit” or “hell”, or perhaps something worse. She didn’t know any better, but Bo and Billie were determined that if the girls were going to live with them under their roof, and they were going to provide for them during that arrangement, then Starr and Suzanna must live by their code of ethics and rules.

Billie arrived home one afternoon to the sight of Starr on her knees washing the screen door with a washcloth, although she wasn’t making much progress on the crayon marks that were strewn all over it.

“What are you doing, Starr,” Aunt Billie asked.

With a pitiful, pouting voice, Starr answered, “I colored on the door and Mary’s makin’ me wash it all off!”

That wasn’t the worst of it. When Mary saw that Billie had arrived, she came out the door and was obviously livid. She told Aunt Billie that not only had Starr colored on the door with the crayons, but she had called Mary “an old moo-cow!” in anger. “Dear me, “ thought Billie. “What am I going to do with you, Starr?”

Where Starr had a precocious side, Suzanna was reserved and quiet, and seemed to internalize her thoughts, rather than verbalize them. She didn’t receive near the lashings that Starr did. Starr was as stubborn as the day is long and breaking her was like breaking a wild horse right out of the pasture.

The next time that Starr and Suzanna saw either of their parents was upon the celebration of Suzanna’s fifth birthday in late July. Helena was there with gifts for the girls, and she brought their baby brother, Charles, along for the party. It was the first real birthday party that either of the girls had ever had. Aunt Billie had birthday cake, balloons and decorations, and lots of presents. At some point in the afternoon, Chuck arrived dressed in his military fatigues and brought gifts for the girls. He did not stay long and as an adult, Starr vivdly recalled the tenseness of the room on that day, so thick that you could cut it with a knife. That would be the last time that Starr or Suzanna would see Chuck for the next fourteen years.

The Helena Forum

While I am flattered that someone wishes to take the time out of their busy day to play with me, I nevertheless am not enjoying the game. I saw the alias "abbbs99" yesterday (or day before, I cannot recall) and realized that the game was on. I had been banned from the forum, most likely for posting an email address, which was my own so why care, so I hastily chose an alternate, which was "abbs99", mainly because some friends have affectionately called me "abbs".

I know, it is irritating, the numerous aliases, but I am outspoken and very direct and Big Brother is not enjoying me much, hence the endless battles with "him" over my freedom of speech and the necessity to re-sign with yet another new alias. I apologize, forum friends, but that is the nature of this particular beast.

I hope that I can remain "AbbeysRoad99" for the duration; that is, of course, unless I become so irritated that I spew my venom and am banned once again. Thanks all for your patience.

Abbey
(a/k/a "AbbeysRoad99" on the Helena Forum)

Gentle Musings For The Day

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why ' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN..!!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

My Living Will


Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine. She's such a witch.

Thoughts From Across the Pond

An email from Ireland to their brethren in the States...a point to ponder despite your political affiliation:

We, in Ireland, can't figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States. On one side, you have a pants wearing lawyer, married to a lawyer who can't keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer who goes to the wrong church who is married to yet another lawyer who doesn't even like the country her husband wants to run.

Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate 'Mc' terminology, married to a good looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship.
What in the Lords name are you lads thinking over there in the colonies??

Our Fourth of July Weekend

Greetings Everyone,

In all the years that I have been friends with Fannie D. Brown, I don't believe Dawg and I have every spent a holiday at the lake. Most holidays, her family comes and Fannie will smoke the meat and everyone else will bring the trimmings. This year, all the kids had their own plans, and the 4th falling on a Friday made it even better for a long weekend away. Dawg took Thursday off from work and I left work shortly after lunchtime, so we arrived at the lake by 3:00.

If you love the water as much as I do, you experience a very noticeable calm that comes over you when you arrive at the lake. Just looking out over the beautiful water, the foliage and boat houses on the distant shores, people milling around doing whatever people do at the lake, whether they are preparing for company or just performing regular maintenance and clean-up around their own lake properties.

We went to the new, covered upper porch of Fannie's home to settle down, have a beer and talk a bit. I settled into the nick Queen Ann style wicker chair, and as I lay my right arm on the arm of the chair, low and behold, I had laid it on top of a black wasp. Yes, it stung and it got me good this time. It took a plug of me with it as a souvenir of its conquest. I could hear all the little wasps "ooohing" and "ahhhhing" as the little varmint bragged about the lady who invaded his space and how he showed her a thing or two!

Me, I was livid. I have been visiting Fannie at the lake for about five years and two weeks prior, I had been stung for the first time, on my finger. This time, I was stung on the underside of my wrist and this one hurt worse. Fannie immediately soaked a paper towel in ammonia and I held it on the skin for several minutes to reduce the sting - yes, this works! But as the hours wore on, and especially into the next day, my wrist was extremely red, swollen and tender to the touch. In fact, the redness and the swelling made it within an inch of the joint of my elbow. And itch, Lord it itched come Friday. I used cortisone creme all weekend which helped a lot.

Fannie D. Brown said to everybody that I had never been stung in my life, and she felt it was only proper that I should be "initiated". Well, two stings later, I feel sufficiently "initiated". Her sweet mother, we call her Va-J-J, whispered to me over lunch on Friday that she also felt I had been more than initiated and that should be the end of it.

Thursday night we more or less let our hair down. I had the brilliant idea that Fannie and I should kayak down the creek to the main channel and back again. It was dusk, the sun had gone behind the trees and there was just enough daylight and time to paddle out, talk a minute and then return. There is a place between the two piers that slopes into the water and is covered with pea-sized gravel specifically for paddling in from the water. Fannie has taught me to get close to the opposite bank and then paddle like hell to get going good so you can slide up the "ramp" and onto the grass.

As we were paddling back down the creek, we heard a gunshot. We looked up and here, at dusk no less, was a 16 year old girl with a shotgun standing on the bank. She looked at us and said "sorry" and mumbled some other things that I could not understand, but Fannie stopped to talk to her. She had shot at a snake sitting on a rock. She said people would be swimming the next day and she wanted to be sure he was dead. Dear Fannie stopped to give the girl a little instruction about the use of shotguns and that a bullet would likely ricochet and hit her or some other unsuspecting soul. All I heard was "snake" and that was all that was on my mind when I was at the opposite bank and began digging my paddle earnestly to get up my speed to scale the ramp. I was but 6 feet away from it when I suddenly started leaning to the right. Before I could right myself, I was over and underneath the water. Again, all I was thinking was "snake". I came up, of course soaking wet; the Dawg was standing on the bank laughing and I was trying my best not to be too obvious as I hurried toward the bank with the kayak, which in and of itself was completely encumbering my progress. "Snake." Every weed, turtle or whatever that brushed my leg was a snake in my mind! Dear ole Fannie Brown, she missed the whole thing as she was in the midst of her gun safety tutorial, but as I went over and under the water, I did catch a peripheral glimpse of her on her own kayak, head toward the shore speaking to the young girl. Fannie made her own "landing" perfectly.

Fannie's family came Friday for lunch and brought the meat. Fannie and I made tater salad, baked beans and a 7-layer salad. Va-J-J made her famous pound cake, which truly is famous and she enjoys making it. It was so hot and humid. We sat on the front deck with the fan going full speed, but it didn't help much. After company left, we decided to go out on the boat and cool off in the water. It was so refreshing. I noticed storm clouds and we headed in. We were probably 1/4 mile from the boathouse and it was in plain sight when the rain began to pummel the pontoon. The wind blew it against our bodies and we sheltered ourselves as much as possible with towels. Dawg stood and drove slowly, looking for a place to tie up and ride it out, when suddenly a streak of lightening lit up the sky and he hit the throttle! It was rather funny. But we and the pontoon were soaked when we got into the boathouse.

Saturday was more of the same and we were ready to come home after coffee and chit-chat on Sunday morning. Ah, there's no place like home. Being on the lake only makes me want my own place there more. I wonder if it will ever come to pass.

Phones in Church

A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read 'Calls: $10,000 a minute.' Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to GOD. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Seattle , Denver, St.Louis, Chicago , Milwaukee , and around the United States , he found more phones with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrived in Alabama; upon entering a church in Decatur, AL, behold - he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read 'Calls: 35 cents.'

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. 'Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to GOD, but in the other churches the cost was$10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?'

I love this part.............................

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, 'Son, you're in the South now.You're in God's Country. It's a local call.'

American by Birth - A Southerner by the Grace of God!

Little Firefighter

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said. "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

Monday, July 07, 2008

HEARTLIGHT


VERSE:

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

~ Matthew 7:7-8


THOUGHT:

God made us to seek after him and find him (Acts 17:27-28). Try to imagine the astounding reality of this truth: the God of theUniverse is thrilled to see us when we come home to him! Is it any wonder that he longs for us to seek him so he can welcome us with the same joy as the father welcomed the son back again (Luke15:11-31)?

PRAYER:

Father, while there are many things that my selfish heart seeks after, deep inside I know that what I need most, and what I seek most right now, is to know you in a more holy and majestic way. InJ esus' name I seek you. Amen.

TODAY'S . . .

Anyone who says he is walking in the light of Christ but dislikes his fellow man, is still in darkness. But whoever loves his fellow man is “walking in the light” and can see his way without stumbling around in darkness and sin.

~ 1 John 2:9-10, The Living Bible


You only have to do a very few things right in life so long as you don't do too many things wrong.

Warren Buffett

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Heartlight


VERSE:

For if ye thoroughly amend your ways and your doings; if ye thoroughly execute judgment between a man and his neighbour; If ye oppress not the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow, and shed not innocent blood in this place, neither walk after other gods to your hurt: Then will I cause you to dwell in this place, in the land that I gave to your fathers, for ever and ever.

~ Jeremiah 7:5-7


THOUGHT:

What is the true measure of our character? Certainly it is not merely how we act "at church." The real test of our character, our godliness, is our partnership with him in his work of redeeming the lost, forgotten, downtrodden, and broken. When we live only for ourselves, when the "have-nots" are left so far behind, a culture collapses upon itself because it lacks the heart of God, and people become jealous and resentful of one another.

PRAYER:

Loving God, Almighty and Sovereign Lord, please forgive us and use your children to heal our land. Father, I especially pray that you will use me to be a blessing to someone who has no one to whom he or she can turn in times of crisis. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Heartlight

VERSE:

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. ~ Matthew 7:2

THOUGHT:

Jesus is concerned that we not have a critical spirit toward others, especially about their motives as to why they did something. We can't assume to know another person's heart; only God can. When we are unfairly critical, overly harsh, or unduly judgmental, we need to remember that God will use that same standard on us. I don't know about you, but I need grace. So do those I love. I'm going to try very hard to be as gracious toward others as I'm trusting that God is going to be gracious with me.

PRAYER:

Forgive me, Abba Father, for the times that I've been far more critical of others than I should be. Arouse within me a passion to be gracious toward others so that they can see your graciousness shining through me. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Apples and Wine


Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Heartlight

VERSE:

O LORD my God, in thee do I put my trust: save me from all them that persecute me, and deliver me... -- Psalm 7:1

THOUGHT:

Who or what is pursuing you? Is it a past mistake? Is it an old enemy? Is it your conscience? Is it a nagging sense of guilt? Is it someone who wants to do you physical harm? Is it a physical illness? In the middle of all the storms and struggles of life, where do you go to find peace and security? There is only One who can be a true and lasting refuge. Just One!

PRAYER:

Father God, you are my refuge and source of strength when my courage is gone and my soul is weary. Please, dear Father, destroy all the forces and powers and enemies that pursue me and seek to take me captive and draw me away from you. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen
All life is holy. If we are truly oriented toward God, then our slightest activities- shaving, reading the newspaper, putting out the cat- are a form of prayer.

~ Wendy Beckett


Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; make melody to our God upon the lyre! He covers the heavens with clouds, he prepares rain for the earth, he makes grass grow upon the hills. He gives to the beasts their food, and to the young ravens which cry. His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor his pleasure in the legs of a man; but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.

~ Psalm 147:7-11, The Revised Standard Version

Four-Four-Four-Four Meme

I was tagged by my Catholic Sister way down under in Australia, Therese. Thanks, Therese!

(A) Four places that I go to over and over:
Mass
Fannie Brown's
2 Pesos
Grocery Store

(B) Four people who e-mail me (regularly):
Crimson Cutie
Tammie
Charlie
MamaH

(
C) My favorite 4 places to eat:
2 Pesos
Jim 'n Nicks
Petrocelli's
Whattaburger

(D) Four places I would rather be right now:
Amarillo, Texas

Italy
Blue Ridge Mountains
Cruising the Mediterranean

(E) Four people I think will respond:
Crimson Cutie
Charnita
Mommy2boys
Tammie

(
F) Four TV shows I watch all the time:
CSI: Miami
Gene Simmons
CSI: Las Vegas
General Hospital (nighttime soaps)

(G) Four words that best describe you:

Sensitive
Compassionate
Spiritual
Fun

(H) Four favorite "old school" Hollywood Actors/Actressess:
Elizabeth Taylor

James Stewart
John Wayne
Bette Davis

(I)Four favorite "old school" television game shows:

Truth or Consequences
The Match Game
Let's Make a Deal
The Gong Show

(J)Four favorite "old school" television shows:

Amos and Andy
The Little Rascals
Laurel & Hardy
Abbott & Costello

(K) List four things you liked best about Christmas when you were a child:
Putting up the Christmas tree

Singing Christmas Carols
Wrapping Presents
Christmas Morning and Santa Claus

(L) List four things you liked best about Halloween when you were a child:
Picking out my costume

Going door to door for candy and trying to fill my bag FULL
Going to haunted houses at my friends' houses
Getting to wander through the neighborhood with all the other goblins, laughing and having fun

(M) List four things you did not like about growing up:
I didn't want to grow up, I wanted to stay young and live with Mom and Dad forever

That I couldn't join the hippie revolution because I was too young
My parents were rather strict (but they did it out of love)
Having to do chores every Saturday morning before I could do anything else

(N) List four events that impacted your life (can by anytime throughout your lifetime):
Times with my Grandmother in the summer

Being adopted
Having my children (12 years apart!)
Finding God

I am tagging the four people that email me regularly (in question B).